For a period of time growing up, I wanted to be one of two things: a pop star or a mom. Sadly, my pop star dreams were soon crushed to pieces as my parents absolutely refused to let me audition in “Georgetown’s Got Talent” even though my best friend got to do it & I then had to sit in the audience as the supportive bff steaming with jealousy lol.
Thankfully I got over that career goal pretty quickly, and soon I hopped onto the next dream of being a travel journalist or master chef… Yet somehow this one dream has always stayed with me…
When I grow up, I want to be a mom.
I remember watching my own mother growing up, to me she was so normal, yet there was something marvelous about her just being my mom! Maybe it was the fact she could whip up insanely delicious meals in lightning speed and no matter how many unexpected guests came through the door, there was always plenty to go around. Or maybe it was the way I saw her care for our home, always making sure the door was open, the living room and bathrooms were clean, and always some sort of snacks in reach. Maybe I’m even still salty of every time, she never hesitated to make my sister and I give up our own beds for others to sleep in. She would laugh with us and sing hymns for hours on the piano. She was so strict and strong and even fought with us at times, but I know now, she fought much more FOR her children. Before the Lord and before the enemy. Something about this life I can never forget and I long to live it as my own.
Looking back, there must have been times she was tired. Not in the mood to cook and clean. Reluctant to continuously welcome people into our home or surely her bandwidth to converse and listen to the endless stories and problems of others would come to an end… yet I can’t think of a single time she locked our front door. Not a single time can I remember a murmur or complaint slip out of her mouth. She was just a mom. Not only to me but to every single person who walked through our doors.
I remember times she wept with other sisters over their situations. Opening her own as well and allowing them to come into the pain and bear it with her. I don’t think I will ever know the extent she sacrificed for my dad to be able to be the brother that he is and function in the vast measure he does. (He’s a whole story for another day haha)
Begetting. Cherishing. Nourishing. Perfecting. Building. All the time. In every place. Day by day. House to house. Just a nursing mother.
This is my dream.
But we were gentle in your midst, as a nursing mother would cherish her own children. Yearning in this way over you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own souls, because you became beloved to us. (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8)
I love the Body. I love the church. I really love the God-ordained way of building up the Body of Christ.
And this week, I saw that it is altogether related to life and function. Not to be a super spiritual giant but rather much more to be a normal nursing mother.
I was so convicted. It is the most normal, spontaneous, automatic, not even an option or question, and the greatest of joys to just be a mom to her little baby. To feed them, clean them, play with them, teach them… love them. Do anything and everything it takes for them to grow normally and happily. You never give them up. This is to be a mom.
It is not a matter of mere duty and responsibility. Not a job that I only put the minimum of hours in before I can clock out. Rather it is a life and a privilege.
I’m SO sorry to all the ones I tried to care for in the past… I confess, often I did not see them as newborn babes. Therefore towards many I was easily discouraged or lazy or even the worst of all— indifferent.
Oh may the Lord have mercy on me! I want nothing more to learn and to practice. To see every believer as a newborn babe. In a way, we all still need a mother’s care. Regardless of age, maturity, or condition — I never want to stop loving and caring for you!
Of course, I fully realize that from myself this is impossible. Even my past failures have assured me never to trust in my natural “capacity” or self. Only the Lord Himself has this kind of love and living. But I’m so encouraged that He longs to duplicate Himself in my being, using everything and everyone around me to break through. That I would become the same as He is, in life and in nature. To live fully and absolutely in the God-ordained way— for the building up of His Body in reality.
So please, do let me know if there is anything I can do for you. How can I care for and bear you before our Lord? May He be the faithful One to complete in all of us the good work He’s begun!
LOVE,
Dasha.
📸📸📸 !!
in case anyone ever wondered how they clean up the pool for baptisms… lol here ya go
