Hallihallo again! 🤭
I’m sorry y’all, it’s been a while huh… Funny thing is, I had a whole draft written for a while but somehow I had no peace to finish and send it… I guess the Lord wanted something else…
But rest assured, A LOT has happened (both inwardly and outwardly) in the meantime. I don’t think it’s even possible anymore to really share adequately in just this one update, so I’ll just share a couple of my biggest personal takeaways from this 1st term:
My spirit is still Life. Exercise it.
I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. This is really the most marvelous fact.
Countless times during this term, I thought I came to my end. Physically, mentally, emotionally, it was all at times just too much for me. Yet exactly in those moments I touched this secret; I have a mingled spirit.
I have a boundless, endless, source and spring within! Sorrow swallowing, death defying, eternal life is within me! And I can choose to hide there.
Recently I’ve been reading this book called “The Law of Revival” and this one phrase really struck me:
If we refuse to eat and drink, our tears are useless.
Christ is dwelling in us and He is our eternal food and fountain of living water! However, in our spiritual life we are often downcast, dry, stale, deadened, suffering and pressed down. Actually it is unnecessary for us to get stuck and remain in such a condition. We can choose to exercise our mingled spirit. Turn from our fickle soul and contact the Lord in spirit, touch Him, see Him, receive Him as our rich supply! As soon as we do this, we will be refreshed and experience a new revival.
So this term, I really began to learn. Even in tears, no… especially in tears, or in my crusty dusty dryness, I choose to turn. No excuses, no one and nothing to blame. I choose to exercise my spirit to contact my Lord. Even if it’s just a little teeny turn. A little drop of cooperation. Oh, I assure you… whether seen or unseen, there is then MUCH operation from Him!
Loving Him is an Exercise.
This was another big takeaway for me this term… the experience was also somewhat progressive…
Up until now, I think my love relationship with the Lord was mostly lead according to my feelings. Not that I only loved Him when everything in life was sweet and swell, but still somehow I relied heavily upon “feelings of love” for Him…
I’m so grateful to be in this wonderful family… I spent some time with a much older believer who I kinda view as a spiritual grandpa hehe. At the time, I was struggling with how to open to the Lord. I thought that when I open myself to Him, telling Him about all my feelings and situations, I would feel significantly better. Kinda like: I open and pour out, He fills and fixes and thus I should feel a lot better right? 😅
So I told this dear grandpa, “I must be doing it wrong. I’m trying to open to the Lord but I don’t feel any better afterwards… and then it becomes discouraging and harder every time to open to Him again because I feel like there’s no point if I still feel the same before and after…”
He just looked at me with loving, empathetic eyes and kinda chuckled… then his response shocked me.
“You know Dasha, let me just give you permission to be sad… it’s okay, the point of opening to the Lord is not necessarily to feel any better… Let me tell you, the sweetest times I’ve had with the Lord are in tears. And don’t get me wrong, they are not tears because I am so touched and moved by Him! They are tears because I am really sad… But it is exactly in these moments that I realize, the Lord is right there with me…”
This was so releasing… I should focus not on “feeling better”, but cling to His presence!
So I did, as much as I could… sometimes I did really feel much better after pouring out to the Lord, other times I didn’t… but it didn’t matter so much anymore! I just needed to keep pouring out on Him.
Basically I started to learn it’s okay to vomit on God.
I didn’t even realize that I had this religious concept! I thought it’s sinful to be mad at God, how could I be offended by Him since I have no ground to blame Him anyways? I am not my own, right? Ah, but I realized, He doesn’t care. He still wants to hear it. He’ll take it. All my vomit.
After a some time of doing this, I got frustrated with myself again lol…
Now I was just sick and tired of being upset with Him! How much I wanted to just be in love with the Lord… lol it’s kinda dumb and illogical, a bit embarrassing even i know, but I thought it would just kinda happen again spontaneously or through some big experience or something idk 🙃 anywho, it got to a point where I kinda gave up on waiting lol.
I just decided that if He wasn’t gonna come and dramatically sweep me off my feet, I’m gonna go and search for Him.
So step by step, day by day, I chose to just “love” Him. To spend time with Him in the mornings, read my Bible, read the ministry, sing to Him. I just chose to enjoy God! Whether He was gonna appear to me or not. Whether or not I felt anything during this time… Though He was faithful each time to supply me with a little more of Himself. A little more strength for the day. A little more peace and joy.
And the strangest thing is, I can’t really tell you when or how… but I really do love Him! Not so much in a super emotional and intense way, but rather in a deeper, steadier, day by day, kiss by kiss kind of way…
I’m slowly realizing that maintaining our love for the Lord is our choice and our exercise.
Maybe this is a bit of what growth in life looks like… no more am I looking or expecting a great drawing and appearing of my God in order to be captured by Him and to secure my love towards Him. #Poland iykyk 😉 Rather, I look forward to the ordinary days under His banner of love. Building a foundation brick by brick. Taking deeper roots and cultivating finer root hairs…
So yeah, I’m doing pretty good these days! I’ve been spending most of my break thus far serving at Bower. It’s been SO sweet to be with the sisters here doing normal life things (: The days are filled with lots of laughter, cooking, song writing 🤭, and picking up random hobbies! I picked up embroidering lol and now am kinda obsessed. Also s/o to the Cottage bros who left all their weights and workout equipment at the house, they are being well used - (who even am i now lol)
I also spent a week in the Netherlands serving at Winter School of Truth and it was the most exhausting and rewarding week of 2024. These crazy teens refreshed, impressed and encouraged me SO much. The Lord really is gaining a generation of crazy lovers of Jesus…
At the end of January I’m going to France for a couple weeks for a gospel trip! Please pray for this time and for the Lord’s will to be carried out in every way to the fullest extent.
I guess that’s all for now! Thank y’all for your prayers and check ins. ❤️ Let me know how I can pray for you.
in love,
Dasha.
Now for the fun part, I have quite a few sweet and silly moments to share! Enjoy! 📷
Our term REALLY loves this song… and Jesus is our favorite Person! 😉
A couple moments captured that made me really smile (:
My YP & I made a song for Romans 12:1 in about 15min! I am so proud of them (:
Some times hiding & singing to the Lord… thought I’d share a couple of the hymns I’ve really enjoyed this term (ya girl’s guitar skills are RUSTY im SORRY) :